Then came the disappointment of the schedule change, Severed was moved in order to allow for enough time for the film Grim Prairie Tales to arrive from wherever it wasn't supposed to be. Not that I was disappointed about that, I believe I'll still get to see the film late on Sunday, what I was disappointed with was how bad this film was.
It was so bad that laughter in the audience was no longer nervous and not at funny moments, and the Festival Director was heard to say ...before I'm lynched as she left the screening. This was particularly amusing considering her complete disregard for Hostel (review).
Here's the IMDB blurb before I start...
A multi-national forestry company engages in genetic experimentation to increase logging yield in a remote section of forest. But the experimentation goes disastrously wrong, transforming a disparate group of loggers and environmental activists into the "infected" -- ravenous, zombie-like creatures who prey upon the few terrified survivors while they attempt to understand and control the disaster...
I honestly wonder if I'm going to be able to get across to you how utterly pathetic this attempt at a Zombie film is. Here, let me try this. Let's open the book of clichés to page one and we'll read through all twelve chapters ticking off each one as it is used in the film, oh believe me, I think we'll mark that book so badly it would be unreadable, and perhaps that's a good thing.
Let me run through a few I remember...
- Teleporting Zombies who attack the survivors out of nowhere, these ambling, rigor mortis filled corpses managed to suddenly appear in numbers and surprise these agile, able bodied people
- Continually falling over people, and I mean continual. In an early scene the lead character does not take more than three steps without falling over, and they all do it
- In these same scenes the lead parks his truck and walks over to a Zombie, surprise, he's shocked and runs deep into the forest away from the truck
- As the survivors escape in a truck they come to the exclusion zone barrier, a five foot high gate stops them in their tracks. They turn back. This happens twice
- The only working radio is smashed to pieces during a Zombie fight, it only produced static anyway
- Let's split up and keep going
- Let's have sex while this horror goes on
- Let's leap into an impossible fight to save the most hated character knowing we'll die
- Despite the fact that I was hysterical two seconds ago and you were talking sense, let's instantly change around and I'll comfort you
I think by now you get the idea. The writing in this film is pitifully poor and the contradictions, clichés and impossible situations are rife and quite ludicrous. The clichés aren't restricted to the story though, you'll find them in the characters themselves. It totally lacked imagination and intelligence.
The audience laughed a lot during this film, and I don't think any of it would have been intended by the filmmakers. The characters dialogue provided one of the biggest laughs as during a reflective and tender moment by a main character the audience erupts. His I always wanted boys speech was hilarious.
There are so many unexplored plotlines in the film that are opened or hinted at and then never touched on again, like the hidden meaning behind the scientists work, despite the fact he's already admitted who he works for, why he was there and what they were doing - what more is there?
In the end the film turned into a farce, pointless and meaningless, the audience groaned and laughed through it. Now Adele, what were you saying about Hostel?